ACT Unveils Plan To Save Youth From Burden Of Earning Minimum Wage
Party leader David Seymour promises $22 billion in spending cuts, a three-year wage freeze, and a groundbreaking tax reform designed to ensure…
Tag: politics
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National Announces Gang Association Acceptability Framework
The new framework will distinguish between photographs taken at public events, photographs taken while campaigning, and photographs taken by politicians who have…
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Live Fact-Checkers to Fire Paintball Gun at Politicians Every Time They Misstate Statistics
The Electoral Commission hopes the high-velocity acrylic enforcement will restore public confidence after leaders’ debate devolves into an endless mathematical dispute over…
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Nation Seeks Leadership From Two Men Who Appear To Have Been Photocopied at 4% Contrast
In a political development that has united the nation in a profound, bone-deep weariness, New Zealand’s major party leaders have successfully completed…
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Nation Holds Breath as Two Men Argue Over Banana Cost
In a political landscape defined by the fragile physics of two men occupying the exact same conceptual space like competing quantum states…
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ACT Proposes Solving Supermarket Duopoly By Approving 47 New Supermarkets For Existing Duopoly
Party says the fastest way to increase supermarket competition is to dramatically increase the number of supermarkets already involved, prompting officials to…
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Government Confirms Absence Of Māori Health Plan Is Actually Phase One Of New Flexible No-Plan Strategy
Officials insist that having no policy for 18 months represents a breakthrough in agile, highly responsive non-interventionism.
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Government Shocked Civil Service Not Volunteering
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has expressed profound, unblinking astonishment upon discovering that several thousand humans are still legally permitted to exchange labor…
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Business Leaders Enter Holy Order of Tax Freedom
WELLINGTON — A convention room packed with four hundred of the nation’s top chief executives has unanimously voted to convert the corporate…
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ACT Promises to Freeze Minimum Wage to Boost Corporate Profits
The ACT Party has unveiled its boldest economic vision to date: a comprehensive strategy to freeze the adult minimum wage for three…